Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
