I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He? As in you personified your dick?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet