He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
