Sponge bath it is.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
