Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
only you would photoshop your dick
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
