He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize