cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
