im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
