Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
