I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
