I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
