What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
