a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize