Already got asked if we're dating
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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