I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
ttyl tear gas
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
