Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
