Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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