How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
