He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
