I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
