Umm I'm too high to move.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
