Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
