Tell her she can't have a vagina
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize