I just cut my nipple shaving
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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