I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
