he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
