Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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