I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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