oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
