i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
