youre lurking in front of me
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
