if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
