Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
