Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
