We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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