i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
