He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize