I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
