Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
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I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
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I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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