Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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