I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
