I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
