Having a random hookup so left but love u
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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