C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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