Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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