Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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