I skipped work to stalk him.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
