"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
