I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
PANTIES FOUND
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
