Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize