i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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