there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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