so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
