Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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