maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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