My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
