it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
