i just google imaged poop.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
