would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
