So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
