Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
