But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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